Tuesday, 1 May 2018

Today I have the power to change my story..

Some of you may know that I've been at the helm of Mod Dolly for 5 years now. It's been a massive journey, building something that simply started as a hobby into an international business. A journey that’s been really fulfilling but also extremely stressful at the same time. While I'm grateful for how the business has turned out and how it's grown, it’s never been my intention to run a busy business for the rest of my life. Designing clothes is what makes me come alive but, while running a business, it’s something I actually don't get time to do. Instead I manage people, pack and ship orders, and answer customer queries. While I understand this is part and parcel of running a business, I've come to really dislike the day-to-day activities that my job requires me to do. When you stop liking what you do it really curbs your motivation. That’s not what's best for the brand, or the people who work within it.
Within the last couple of years Mod Dolly has become really busy and as the team has expanded it’s become even more important that sales targets are met to cover all our costs. While that’s obvious for any business, I’m just not a sales person and, while we do have people to manage those things, the responsibility and stress of it hangs over me every single day. It’s honestly like a big black cloud following me around. Running a small business is unpredictable from day to day, so even when we have an amazing week, I’m constantly thinking about the next day and the day after and it’s made me into a really anxious person.
I do consider Mod Dolly as a high-street priced business. It’s not the cheapest, but £50 for a handmade dress, made in London, to me is a pretty good deal. Now it’s not up to me to say how people should shop. I’m also a bargain hunter, and if people can get things for less then they’re obviously a really savvy shopper - so why not? However, I simply don’t want to run a high-street brand, I would love to slow down my daily routine and be able to work on something more meaningful that isn’t dictated by price or sales targets. I want to create something that’s more of a passion project, with my own name and at my own speed. I’m only 28 years old but even if I was 30 years older, I’ve come to learn recently that it’s okay to change your path, at any time in your life. 
Life is extremely precious and very short, and I know I’m lucky to have the chance to change my direction.
SO… I've decided to leave Mod Dolly and design for other brands, alongside working on a 'slow fashion' namesake label and some creative projects of my own. Mod Dolly will eventually be changing ownership and moving abroad. While I can't announce any specific details about the future of the brand, it will officially go on a break when the remaining stock has sold.

While I hope to embrace the change in my life, it still feels very bittersweet! When you put your every bit of being into something that you end up disliking, it's a hard pill to swallow. I admit that I really didn't like my job and I'm definitely a different person today than I was 5 years ago.
Today my story is changing and I’m starting again. It’s a very vulnerable position to be in as the brand has always been such a big part of my identity and what people associate me with. I’m taking over the Instagram account and expect a huge surge of people pressing the un-follow button, but let me assure you that exciting things are to come! 
I’m looking forward to designing garments that I truly love, ones that aren’t limited by cost price. That’s not to say I’ll start pumping out £1000 dresses, but I’m definitely in the process of making plans to release a beautiful line of clothing that I’ll be proud to put my name on.

Thanks for reading my essay! I thought I owed it to everyone who I’ve had the pleasure of working with and for all my loyal customers who have literally supported me for years! I hope you will all follow me on this new journey.

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